I have grown so. damn. much. over the last decade but in essence I’m still the same girl–
I’m loud, I’m scared, I’m vulnerable, and I wear my heart on my sleeve and then post my entire life on the internet–
I have succeeded and won and gained so much over the course of 10 years but not without failing so much and so fast and so hard. But what kept me on the upward climb was a team of people ensuring that every time I lost, I lost well.
I spent so many of these years in absolute agony and I either tried to shut everyone out or take people down with me. I once stormed up to my room demanding to be left alone, slammed the door, shattered a mirror, and cried louder. My brain was operating on the level of a three-year-old’s. I couldn’t process.
As a whole, this decade was garbage. The majority of the feelings I experienced in it, I never want to experience again, and I never want anyone to experience.
But the grace I was offered by the people who love me, and the doctors who care about me, and the animals that demand my love and attention–
has been pretty wonderful.
Now, on an unrelated note–
If you managed to read this entire thing, please contact me and I’ll buy you something off the Dollar Menu at McDonald’s because wow.